gingerbread men /open/

[Kinkade Cymir Malixi]

KINKADE
_{until i saw your blue eyes cry
and i held your face in my hand.
then, i fell down yelling,
'make it go away!'}

"No, River. That wouldn't happen. I want to understand you. My power... it's like, having so much information I didn't ask for. It's harder knowing you keep something so close even though it hurts you.

[/color]"Kinkade explained. It was hard to really explain, though. Especially since most didn't get a chance to see just how much he cared about others. He was so self-centered, how could he possibly care for anyone or anything else? "I can't say I'll be any help, and I can't change what's happened, but if I didn't try, then that's my fault, and that isn't fair to you.[/color]"[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[River Tam]

**give me the wings to fly**

“You’re sure? Because once I start, I doubt I’ll be able to stop. I don’t want to get you into something you don’t want to be in.” She swallows hard, willing herself to stay strong. Not to break into tears before she even starts talking. That would be pathetic.

She shivers. It’s not cold in the least-- quite warm, actually. But even thinking about her past sends a shudder down her spine. She hadn’t even told all of it to her surrogate mother, Kate Peterson of New York, New York. She knew the basics, but River hadn’t gone into detail about the School.

**and the courage to fall**

[Kinkade Cymir Malixi]

KINKADE
_{make her smile
come back
and shine!}

"I'm positive.

[/color]"Kinkade nodded. Normally he would have said something confident, something like, 'I can take it', but he kept himself from that. Now was not the moment. Now was not the time for him to make light of anything, even if that would have made it easier for himself in his own opinion. Her sadness was already so pressing. So humbling. Kinkade wanted nothing more than to reach out, to hold her close to him, and to radiate that sense of security he always wanted to provide. But he wouldn't do that. He couldn't touch her, not yet. Not until it was alright with her.[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[River Tam]

(Woot! 986 words!)

**give me the wings to fly**

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, River begins.

“I was born in London, a normal child to an equally normal family. One dad, one mum, and my brother, Simon. Simon was eleven at the time. By the time I was two, I was doing long division in my head. By the time I was three, I was correcting Simon with his spelling, though I could hardly crawl across the floor. I went to kindergarten when I was six, just like any other little girl or boy. But I was different. When my classmates were napping, I was drawing crossword puzzles on my blanket with a marker. I always knew the answer. The others didn’t accept me. They turned me out of the circle at story time.

“When I was eight, I convinced my parents to pull me out of school and let me teach myself. They bought be textbooks, so many, one every subject possible, but I was done with them before they could bat an eye. I started going to school with Simon, tagging along to high school. The teachers didn’t mind-- I was quiet, did my work just like everybody else, and seemed to make Simon happier. But soon, I was passing even the most advanced students.

“When I was thirteen, we got a letter from a special school. The Sussex Institute for Gifted Children. We were all ecstatic. I begged my father to let me go, and eventually, he relented. I packed my things and headed off to school.”

Her eyes fill with tears, but she wipes them away, not wanting to cry, unable to stop talking.

“We all drove out to Sussex. It seemed like a normal enough school, classrooms filled with orderly rows of desks, a cafeteria with tables and a buffet, posh dorms for the students to live in. I was assigned to room B241. We didn’t have roommates.

“For the first couple of months, I was in heaven. So much to learn, so little time to do it. I stayed up until all hours reading books, writing up essays, and the like. I sent home letters every second Tuesday. Until the headmaster approached me with a task he felt only I would be able to handle. I would become a test subject, on the matter of the brain. I would be put into a special wing of the building, fed different food, my letters would be screened, and I would be basically controlled in every way. He said it was worth it, for science. He lied, Kins.”

More tears fall from her eyes, and this time she lets them.

“I was put into the top floor, room X541. Immediately after I moved in, I was hooked up to an IV, various chemicals pumped into my blood-stream. One month after I moved rooms, an attempt at murder was made. Not by me-- one me. Two of the headmaster’s thugs came and took me to a room, one I’d never seen before. A fountain sat in the middle of the circular chamber. One of the henchmen took me by the hand and led me to the fountain. I allowed it. Before I could even blink, I was shoved face-first into the water. I screamed, thinking it was a mistake. It wasn’t.

“They held me down until I passed out. After that, I remember waking on the floor of the room, doctors surrounding me. Two burn marks were on my chest. Defibrillator marks. They had killed me, and brought me back to life. They took me to my room, told me to relax, write a letter home.

“So I did. I told about my day, about drowning. My letter was read, and given back to me. I was told that I wasn’t allowed to write about that, in the best interests of science.”

The tears come faster now, streaking down her face like bullets.

“I was put on different medicines, all still delivered by IV. I was drowned. Again. This time, I was a bit scared to be in the fountain room, but I followed. After I passed out, they left me to float. I woke up in the fountain, not sure where I was, and screamed for help. I was left there for another hour or two.

“The whole process was repeated again and again, so many times that I lost count. After a couple of months, I began to concoct secret codes in the spelling of my letters and send them back home in a frantic attempt to tell my family what was going on. They didn’t understand.

“A month later, I gave up hope that they would come for me, and began to come up with an escape plan. But that was until the Operation.

“One night, they added something different to by IV. It made me sleepy… So very sleepy. I fell asleep. No idea how long I was out, but when I awoke, I was in a dark room. So dark that I couldn’t see outside of the sphere of light surrounding me, cast by a spotlight high above.

“I didn’t have to wait long to see what was going to happen. A man stepped out of the darkness, face hidden by a surgical mask, and cut into my scull. It was the worst pain that I have ever experienced. He took the top part of my head off. I was still awake when he cut into my brain.”

She’s full on sobbing now, but can’t stop talking.

“I don’t know what he did. All I know is, five hours later, put back together, I was sent back to my room. The next morning, they drowned me again. This time, I didn’t yell for help. I slipped silently from the fountain room, and ran.

“I couldn’t go home. Couldn’t go anywhere. Nowhere but away.”

At this point, she can’t say another word. She just stands there and cries.

**and the courage to fall**

[Kinkade Cymir Malixi]

KINKADE
_{lord, please,
forgive me
for my sins}

It was one thing to hear such horrible things, and completely another to know what she felt about them. It made it impossible for him to call her a liar. The whole, terrible, tragic tale she told was unbelievable. Now he understood why she was so sad- why it pervaded over everything. Why nothing was okay. And why, without the passage of time, perhaps nothing would be. Most horrifying to him was the idea of drowning. He was deathly afraid of drowning, but she underwent it multiple times at the hands of people she couldn't escape? He, despite himself, shivered at the emotion as River spoke of it and because of his own thoughts.

She ran. It was like the perfect ending to a movie he'd watched. She ran away, far away, and she escaped the torture. If Kinkade could have detached himself from her emotions enough, he would have smiled. She wasn't smiling... Wasn't this the happy part for her, too? There had to be a happy part for River. Much to Kinkade's dismay, she began to cry. Now was the time to reach out to her. Kinkade got to his feet, then neared her, wrapping her in his embrace.

"Hey, hey, it's alright, I have you, River. You're going to be okay. I promise.

[/color]"Kinkade's voice was soothing. He had a lot of practice. And it helped greatly when he could radiate a sense of calmness as he was doing now. Sometimes people just needed to cry. He would never insist that it stop. But the fear, the sorrow, the anger... things of that nature he would do his best to minimize.

"I am sorry.[/color]"Kinkade suddenly murmured. He was so very sorry. Sorry for the world, sorry for River, and sorry for all those who were where River had been if, god forbid, there were others now taking River's place in the awful institution.[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[River Tam]

**give me the wings to fly**

River stiffens for just a moment as Kins’s arms wrap around her, but then she relaxes. She can stop running. He knows her secret, and yet he’s still here. For that, she is immensely grateful. She doesn’t know what she would do if he had gotten up and walked away, but she doesn’t have to know. He’s right here.

’I am sorry.’ she hears. She knows he means it, and that means the world to her, more than anything else he could possibly say.

She buries her face in his shoulder and just cries, sobs until she is out of tears, and then weeps cries some more. Finally, after what seems like forever, the flow of tears lessens slowing from a flood down to a trickle.

**and the courage to fall**

[Kinkade Cymir Malixi]

KINKADE
_{the ups and downs
and crazy turns
along the way ...}

Kins was so much more than most gave him credit for. But in this moment, he was living up to what he could be. As patient as ever, he held her steadily even as he felt the tears soak into his shirt, wetting his skin. It wasn't the least bit troublesome to him. It was just necessary and part of the process.

The tears kept flowing, and she didn't move away, so neither did Kinkade. Who would have thought he could be this still and this patient for this long? Maybe this was what Shiloh felt like. Almost like the world was timeless. Like one moment could go on forever. A world without change. This moment seemed as good as any to be in, so Kinkade smiled softly to himself, and kept a steady grip on River, listening carefully to her. His eyes closed and he let the moment go on. When the tears subsided, the sounds from River seemed to change. His eyes opened, but he still didn't move.

"You know what?"Kinkade's tone was one that attempted to be carefree, but was far too quiet to be anything more than a light, soft voice. "I think we should go to Shiloh's. You don't have any other plans, do you? Because I'd like nothing more than to steal you away for the rest of the day." Kinkade was trying. He was trying to balance acknowledging her pain and her past with being himself and pushing past it. He was trying to help, and he was doing it in the only way he was sure he could; a distraction.

So now the plan wasn't just make some silly desert as a sort of apology for their initial meeting. Now he was going to make desert and entertain River with some silly cartoon DVD in Shiloh's house. Just a carefree evening. He was good at those. A nice, warm dinner with Shiloh to contrast the horrible events of her past. Maybe it could remind her of home... Maybe, just maybe that could be a good thing.

[River Tam]

**give me the wings to fly**

He was really doing a lot for River just being here. And when he invited her to his house, a house with a semi-normal family… She could have died right then, and been happy. But she didn’t. Instead, she stands there, wrapped in Kins’s warm embrace. It’s been such a long time since she’d let anyone touch her, let alone hug her. It feels odd, but strangely good. Comforting.

She smiles. However weakly it may happen to be, it’s still a smile. “I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

**and the courage to fall**

[Kinkade Cymir Malixi]

KINKADE
_{breathe, just breathe
take the world off
your shoulders
and put it on me.}

River agreed! She didn't think he was a jerk (though, he probably was) or anything like that, and she actually seemed happy to go with him. This surprised the teenager, but he wouldn't admit it. Instead he kept his confident grin on his lips and, as with the moment prior, he just enjoyed it.

Speaking of enjoying it. He probably should have let her go. Probably should have started walking, should have took her to Shiloh's house. But he didn't. He stayed where he was, his arms still around her, and he spoke in the soothing tone from before, this time with an optimistic hint to it.

"Shiloh's very nice.

[/color]"Kinkade explained. Too nice, but he was trying to reassure her, not to point out his father's shortcomings. "He can't seem to shake the Scottish accent- not that I want him to or anything. And, no matter what he tries to tell you, just remember. It's a bad idea to let him anywhere near a stove. Shiloh's kind of banned from the kitchen. The microwave isn't even near any other appliance, just to help him avoid any temptation.[/color]" And Kinkade had implied he couldn't cook. Ha. Well, that was before he was inviting her to his house. He, perhaps with her help, would be making Shiloh dinner. That was always more fun than ordering food. Shiloh in the kitchen was simply a disaster.[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[River Tam]

**give me the wings to fly**

“So, it’s coffee and hot chocolate for dinner, then?” she says, almost joking. Of course Shiloh would be nice. Or else Kinkade wouldn’t have invited her over for dinner, she reasons. Taking the insane girl who just had a mental breakdown to the house of some mean old geezer wouldn’t be exactly smart, now, would it?

“Is your dad really that awful at cooking?” Just a microwave. Wow. Even River’s managed to learn how to make cookies, and those require an oven. But she can use a microwave in some pretty interesting ways. Crisps, for example.

**and the courage to fall**

(I’ve actually made potato chips in the microwave. But Brits say crisps. So, River’s made crisps. Don’t know why I felt compelled to explain that.)a

[Kinkade Cymir Malixi]

KINKADE
_{a dancer in light
spinning around
to the sound.
but sometimes
she falls down.}

(Haha. I would try it, but I would probably fail miserably. I tend to think things will explode in the microwave, and I watch with bated breath.
Annd now Shi is accepted, I can quit stalling! <3 I will create a new topic soon- maybe next post, because walking all the way there without some sort of time skip might get boring x.x)

Okay. Every moment did have it's end. So Kinkade finally let her go, figuring she'd prefer that, before offering her his hand. Because holding hands was clearly the next logical thing to do in Kinkade's mind. One did not end a hug and just stop touching a person, did they? Well, he didn't. But if she didn't want to, he didn't mind.

"I told you! I need your help to survive.

[/color]"Kinkade laughed in reply, before adding in a serious, almost rehearsed tone, wrongfully quoting a biblical line,"Men must not live on ramen alone.[/color]" Kinkade chuckled at his own joke. Even if no one else thought he was funny, he most definitely did. He began walking again, figuring that the sooner they reached Shiloh's, the better.

"Cooking and my dad? Well, all joking aside, he's a very smart man. But you put a knife in his hand and tell him to chop something... There's just something about the request that makes him nervous. And a nervous Shi usually means injury. Plus, he's terribly forgetful when he cooks. It's almost as though it's not a priority, so he just forgets.[/color]"Kinkade explained. In fact, the smoke alarm was as regular of a sound in their household as any. Instead of disabling it permanently, though, Shi always insisted it was necessary. That had always bothered Kinkade. Shi was far too cautious, and far too scared.[/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[River Tam]

**give me the wings to fly**

River stares at his extended hand for a moment, then slides her hand into his, following in his footsteps.

“But ramen’s tasty!” she protests. It’s one of the few foods she actually eats, but only the chicken flavor. She’s quite a picky eater, though, so it’s to be expected that noodles are one of her favorite foods. Bland, but with many opportunities to be embellished, most of which River ignores. She likes plain foods, for some reason.

“We all have our forgetful moments. But forgetting things in the kitchen is never good.” Once, her mother forgot she was cooking dinner and walked out of the kitchen, only to be called back by the smell of burning. She had left the stove on and the window open, and the flames had caught onto a nearby towel. After that, they ate out a lot.

**and the courage to fall**