Hmmm... what is this?

[Nikolas James Shadows]

"I'm all that's left. My older brother left the house when I was 10, I never saw him again. No matter how hard I searched, I never found him... I guess he's dead. Boys of the town burned our house when I was 15. I escaped, but just barely. I was lucky, lucky to get out with nothing more than hands that will never be the same again," Nik said sadly as he came out from behind the wall. He finished walking down the stairs and came to stand in front of one of the best paintings he had done, but also the one with the worst memories behind it.

The painting wasn't much to someone who didn't know what it meant. To Nik, it meant the whole world was gone. The background was black, and the dominant feature was a mansion in all its glory. The windows were sparkling, the wood shining, the yard kept and inviting. He had drawn no flames on it as he had on others, no instead, he had simply splattered black and red paint over it. In large, red paint he had written the words, "IT IS GONE". The paint had dried dripping down, giving it a creepy look to it.

[Christina Ann Robins]

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“Live life, and love it. You only get one shot."

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Robin said nothing, just staring emptily at the painting-- the black and the red blurring together to form one big sheet of swirling colors. Without each and every individual dot outlined, she could see what he meant by the simple colors. To loose someone, it-- it was hard. Robin knew, and hoped she would be long dead before it happened again, although that could never happen. Eventually, Robin shuffled her feet and managed to get a word out-- a desperatly needed word to shatter the silence.

"I'm sorry," Robin whispered softly into the darkness, head bowed. There wasn't much more she could say. The only way she could ever know what he was feeling was so physically painful-- that she only had a vague idea what his angst was before she herself was gone from the world. And now, again, was silence, silence filled with only the presence of the painting, and it's blackness-- it's darkness, its horror.

[Nikolas James Shadows]

"You say you're sorry but you have no idea what it's like. What I let you feel before you fell was only a small part of everything inside of me. You only saw a small portion of my pain, and none of the sense of being betrayed, none of the longing to have a normal life again, none of the anger, none of the hurt. You saw nothing of what I truly am." Nik spoke quietly, and the anger lacing his voice, coupled with his accent, made it hard to understand his speech. It was obvious this was a touchy subject, and Nik hounded himself for bringing her back here.

"And all of this," he said, raising his voice and swinging his arms up to mean all of the writings and pictures, "All of this is nothing! There's so much more I could do, so much more that I could never get into words, never get into a picture." His voice quieted, moving to barely a whisper. "And none of this matters anyhow. Those that know my past still have nothing to do with me because of my powers. No one wants to have anything to do with me. Exactly as this painting says, IT IS GONE, I have nothing left. What I did have, is gone. And no one wants to have anything to do with a vampire."

Nik turned back to the painting, trying everything he could to hide the pain in his face, in his eyes, in his voice. Not pain over what happened and losing everything, but pain at being alone, at never having had another friend since the fire. Pain at losing people, at not ever knowing another human being.

"I don't know why I even bothered show you this stuff," he said. "You won't care anymore than any one else. Because no one wants to do with a vampire." His last words were almost silent, as if he hadn't even spoken them. "You'll leave this barn once it stops raining and you're free... You'll leave and never think of me again. You'll never think of me, never talk to me. You'll leave this barn and I'll be all alone again."

[Christina Ann Robins]

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“Misery loves company.”

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There was a silence, a horrible, ringing silence that followed the older teen’s words. And as much as it hurt to admit it—it was true, it was so very true that Robin could never, would never understand what he had gone through. Nothing could compare, nothing could bring back the pain—nothing could allow Robin to understand, even if she wanted to.

Unless...

"If someone understood, if some knew—” Robin broke off, fingers curling into fist, the white tape wrapped around her fingers turning her fingers white as they applied pressure. Swallowing, Robin continued, despite her throat becoming suddenly dry “—if someone knew what you had gone through.” Robin raised her eyes to lock with the boy across from her, dead serious. “Would it help at all? Or would it be just as bitter as before?”

[Nikolas James Shadows]

"Oh it will always be bitter. It will always hurt, it will always sting, and I will always hate those that did this to me. And I will never stop loving pain, if that's what you're hoping for. It's my power, and I have to have it.

"It will always be bitter. But if someone knew...maybe it would be better... I wouldn't know, no one's ever known before. Or at least, not anyone that's still alive and with me today. I won't lie to you, I don't know what would happen. I could stay just the same, but maybe I would change... Maybe I would stop hurting people like I do... But I don't want to lie to you, don't want to promise you something that won't ever happen... And even if I did change, it wouldn't happen all at once. It could be months before I really changed... At first, I'd be just like I am now, and it would be a slow change, if any." Nik's voice was sad, thoughtful. Maybe he could be different. He didn't know what he would do about his power if he changed, but that couldn't be helped. If he changed, he changed. Then another thought ruined it all.

"But no one could ever understand. THe only way to understand would be to go through it yourself. And no one has. So no one could understand what I went through and how I feel."

[Christina Ann Robins]

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“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.."

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No one can ever understand. Never. In her mind, this was a challenge to Robin, and to the world. 'No one could possibly understand-- without going through it themselves.' And Robin never backed down from a challenge. The moment of subtle sadness that had filled the room was pushed back in a wave of anger. Not a him-- but simply at the fact that it was probably ture that no one could understand-- ever. She was angry that the challenge was utterly impossible, no loopholes. She was angry of the fact that the boy assumed that no one else could understand, or want to try to. She was angry at the fact that she understood the loophole in the question, and how it was going to eat away at her until she blurted it out in front of the entire world.

And she was angry on how arrogant she was to want to prove him wrong.

"Try me," Robin practically growled, chin held up high, eyes flashing, and standing up perfectly straight in attention. A rumble of thunder sent vibrations through the ancient wooden walls of the room, adding uncessary dramatic affect as well as making Robin shiver slightly. The rain pounded down like hammers onto the cabin walls and despite her terror of anything storm, Robin held stead-fast, feet planted firmly into the ground, and eyes steadily staring into the older boy in front of her. "Just... try me."

[Nikolas James Shadows]

Is she insane? Nik wondered to himself. After all, just that tiny amount of pain from him had sent her off the rafters. But that didn't matter to him. She had invited the challenge, so who was he to disappoint? And who knows, maybe if she knew, she would be different than anyone else, maybe she would stick around where no one else had.

Nik sighed and looked down at the ground, looking for the little gateway inside of himself that led to his emotions, to his inner self. He closed his eyes and imagined he was inside of himself, standing in his old house. He was in front of Nicolae's room, and his hand was reaching out to open it. This was his door to himself, and when he opened it, all his emotions would go rushing out. Who knows what it would to the girl standing before him. He knew there was a lot behind that door, and he had never let anyone see it before. He was hesitant to do so now.

Nik looked down at his hand to see it shaking. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the handle and twisted. He opened it slowly, as to not completely overwhelm the girl. Might as well make it as easy as he could for her.

First came the pain, the all famous pain that never left him. There was so much of it that it even overwhelmed Nik for a second. He himself didn't know there was this much of it there, and he began to wonder what else he didn't know about himself. The pain rolled out like a fog, filling the hallway that he stood in, whirling around, slipping itself onto his shoulders.

Next came the sense of being betrayed. It filled him, bringing his already down spirits down even farther. Then came the abandonment. Feelings began to pour out like waves in the ocean. Aloneness, hurt, sadness, anger, resentment, just to name a few. There were so many that Nik had to lean against the door jamb just to stay up under the weight of all the feelings he didn't know he had, even the quantity that he didn't know of them.

[Christina Ann Robins]

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“Once we recognize what it is we are feeling, once we recognize we can feel deeply, love deeply, can feel joy, then we will demand that all parts of our lives produce that kind of joy.”

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He’s not going to hold back—he better fricken’ not. Robin thought with gritted teeth, one foot sliding back in the dirt to brace herself better. The boy in front of her had closed his eyes—he was preparing himself for everything. He was the type of person who would give when asked, and not go easy on her at all. Prepare yourself. Prepare. Face it head on, and then live to tell about it. And whatever you do—don’t make a fool out of yourself like you did at the replay of Titanic.

Robin was so occupied with her own thoughts that she almost was caught off guard when the emotions suddenly hit her like a sledgehammer. Luckily, she managed to catch herself and her iron concentration right before it came; due to a small pulse of pain that he had let slip a second before the rest. Quickly she braced herself and met the emotion head on—eyes squeezed tightly closed—determined not to flinch.

Of course, that was impossible. Her feet slid backwards, knees still locked—as if another force, as if the emotions, became a physical but invisible barrier that forced her backwards. Like one might in a tug of war contest, but in a flipped sense. Robin’s fists were clenched so tightly they seemed a snow white, and the fingernails dug into her paling skin so hard that they drew blood that welled up between her palms in sticky bile. A low kreening began in the back of her throat, a barely noticeable cry that she could not swallow, but never escaped her lips and into the world of sound.

He was in pain too, oh yes—she could see that. He was reliving every moment of his life that made her blood run cold and spots fly into her vision. He was feeling the mental torture that he couldn’t control now, and how she couldn’t control whether or not she was feeling it too—and how she couldn’t control whether the pain he produced and threw at her was attacking her so viciously.

It wasn’t a pain from the inside; Robin had felt that enough when her own mother had died. Somehow, because of that, her powers evolved to prevent that from happening in great strength. Sadness so deep it hurt the minds of the person holding it would attack Robin physically, rather than projecting the same mental sadness in her head. In a sense, her powers protected her from feeling the great and painful sorrow in her head, ever again. So if anyone, a great number of people, felt a huge pain in one moment…? Robin would… die, because of her own furious self-defense. And just for a moment here, while she staggered backwards into the wall behind her and slid down onto the ground—Robin actually believed she would die—that this pain would never end. That she couldn't breathe, the suffocating weight of his pain and her own, clouding her thoughts to a bare minimum.

But quite suddenly, it did.

[Nikolas James Shadows]

Time to close this up. That's enough. Nik thought to himself. He slowly struggled forward, the weight of his emotions making every step feel as if it was weighted in lead. In silent struggle, he walked forward, the pain evident on his face. Finally, he reached the center of the room, and once there, flung his arms out wide. With that movement, all the emotions left his shoulders and his being, running to the farthest corners in the room. Nik let out a sigh and walked back to the hallway.

He turned, seeing the tendrils of pain that circled him, more on the way, and slammed the door shut. The tiny tendrils of pain that lay across his shoulders wouldn't leave, but it was better than all of his emotions.

Nik opened his eyes to see the girl on the floor by the wall. He leaned over his knees, panting for breath that had left him when the emotions attacked. He wondered what the girl would do now. Crazy ideas never seemed to leave her for long.

[Christina Ann Robins]

(Aw, I’m so lazy. You decide what to do next. xP I’m giving you control of the thread! Plus, I don’t really know what to say.)

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“Pain is a funny thing. There are so many classifications of it, mental, physical—some go away, others don’t—some kill you, others let you waste away—and yet…

They all hurt where it counts.”

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Robin didn’t really say much of anything, instead letting her face be buried in her knees, shoulders heaving. That was terrible, that was one of the worse things she’s ever done. No, that was the worst thing she had ever done. I really have to stop doing these things to myself. Now came the awkward silence, but the girl really had stopped caring—more concentrating on breathing than anything else at the moment. After all, what was she supposed to say? Good-work? Or, how about—wow? So the blonde contented herself to sitting there on the floor, clutching her arms to stop them from shaking.

Well, I’m never going to try anything like that again, Robin consoled herself, somewhat weakly, in her head. Never, never, never, never—well, no—never. Geez, I’m-a going to kill myself one day, at this rate.

[Nikolas James Shadows]

Nik finally straightened up, his breathing even once more. He looked over at the girl on the floor once more before walking over to sit next to her, sliding down and drawing his knees up to his chest. It was about that time, while he was searching for words to say, that his hand, sitting on the ground next to him, felt a knot, a bump, something not supposed to be there in the ground next to the wall. He looked down, brushing dirt away. But the dirt didn't move, it stuck stubbornly to whatever it was in the ground.

What is this thing? And why is the dirt sticking to it like this? he asked himself. He began scratching at it, determined to find out what it was that was hidden away in his secret room. He felt the knot depress, falling in on itself. He only had time to think, Why, that's odd before suddenly, he was falling through black emptiness.

Nik flailed out, smacking the wall behind him as he fell beneath the open floors of his room. It was dark, he couldn't see an inch before his eyes, and he wondered just how long he would be falling, and just what he would find at the bottom, if he wasn't a pancake by then.

[Christina Ann Robins]

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“Falling is a funny thing, it can either be totally awesome with a parachute, or totally deadly and terrifying without one .”

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Eyes still closed, Robin felt Nik settle down beside her on the dirt floor-- trying to find the words to say something. Cocky, arrogant, kind? Her thoughts were too jumbled at the moment to say much of anything at all-- until she saw Nik fumbling with a switch on the ground. Robin had noticed it before, after all-- all she saw was a bunch of lines-- so a bump in the floor was pretty obvious. She, however, had shrugged it off as a knot in the floor, until Nik had twisted it just right. Then the floor began to shift.

Oh no, that was never good.

"What are you doing?" Robin asked, horrified-- head snapping up.

Too late.

Falling, falling, falling! The air around Robin was moving so fast she couldn't catch her breath, it was already gone. It tore at her eyes, and the horrible feeling of free falling made her stomach drop to her toes. Granted, she didn't quite know where her toes where at the moment, or her feet, as she was pretty much free falling at the moment.

And the worst part? Even though it was pitch dark, Robin could still see the floor coming at her to smash them both into tiny pieces.

Swooof! Robin forced her arms out in front of her the second she knew she was facing the ground and a blue stream of light bursting forth from her hands to envelope the cavern in a burst of light. Ten feet in front of the two falling teens formed a transparent blue forcefield. Trying to bend it into a curved form, Robin braced herself for the hard impact that was sure to come. It would hurt, alot, but much less than falling the full 100 foot cavern that was sure to kill them.

[Nikolas James Shadows]

Nik hit the forcefield and the breath rushed out of him. He had seen the girl through out her arms, the forcefield forming just below them, the only light in the darkness. He lay on his back on the ground, trying to get his breath back. The earth beneath him was cold, he could feel it through both his t-shirt and his leather jacket. They had to be deep in the Earth.

The basement? Could it be? Nik asked himself. Then he decided that it didn't matter. All he knew was it was dark, he couldn't see an inch in front of his face. What the heck where they supposed to do if they couldn't even see where they were?

[Christina Ann Robins]

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“Don't fall--I won't be there to catch you.”

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The force-field hit hard, and Robin felt the remaining air leave her lungs with a 'pfoof'. A jolt of pain shot up her ankle, screeching bloody-murder from the impact-- and that was all that was needed to break the girl's concentration and shatter the force-field. Luckily, they didn't have to fall far after that, but the earth was still hard and Robin blearily rolled over onto her back, gasping for air. Geez. Geez. Geez-- how many underground labyrinth's did she have to go through here at the academy before she'd proved her worth? This was the second time, and the first had nearly killed her friend River.

Aaaaargh... Robin groaned inwardly, not moving an inch from her sprawled position on the floor. She hated, hated, hated being this far underground-- it totally threw her powers out of wack, and made the neon lines that outlined her world to blur to together, and make it impossible to see more than a few feet.

Coughing, trying to clear her throat of dust, Robin blearily asked, "Are you alright?"

[Nikolas James Shadows]

Finally, Nik regained his breath. He took in a deep one, feeling the air fill his lungs, returning life to him with every second. He relaxed where he lay, closing his eyes to the darkness. There wasn't a sound in the place, all was silent, until the girl spoke up.

"Yeah, I'm okay. You?" he asked.